Week 1 Haiku and Reflection - Madeleine
Vines twirling blindly
Touch rock, air, wood in shadow
Pull, dreaming of light
Reflection and notes in blue below (highlight to read)
Vines growing in forests appear sentient as they spin and reach for trees to climb. Starting from the ground, covered by the shadows of their taller, stronger peers, they find any surface they can and latch on to travel up. Though they don’t know what path they will find nor whether they’ll ever make it to the canopy, they relentlessly struggle towards the only direction they know: up
Even though I’m much more mobile than a vine, I feel like I also operate with a similar direction and lack thereof. Still on the ground, overshadowed by smarter, braver, and more ambitious peers, I reach out in all directions, searching for something to hang on to. I am hampered not only by my weaknesses, but also my winding path; though it is not necessarily bad, it slows me down, and I feel the pressure of time as we are constantly reminded that we cannot last forever. In this environment, I constantly wonder if I’m going in the right direction, if I should let go, and if it is possible- or even worth it- to try to reach this nebulous idea of bright, meaningful accomplishment that is metaphorically my sunlight. Yet like a vine, despite my uncertainty, I have also concluded that there is no other option but to reach, grab, and pull on anything I find with whatever faith (or acceptance) that this is the only way forward.
This is a snapshot of where I am right now in terms of life, but it also is a good description of how I hope to approach climate change and cultural awareness. Though I am much higher up along the tree in climate activism than cultural awareness, in both, I want to explore, learn, and pull forward despite my insecurities. Perhaps selfishly, I strongly value nonmaleficence: I do not want to be responsible for the harm of others. This is typically seen as positive, but because of this concern, I am sometimes too scared to speak or share about cultural narratives for fear that I am doing something wrong. Instead, I would like to displace this fear through a greater emphasis on beneficence- the principle of doing good. While I want to avoid cultural appropriation and treat all cultures with respect, not being an obvious part of the problem does not mean I am part of the solution. In fact, not engaging with topics out of fear of doing harm may be a cause of harm itself. Even climate change, which originally interested me because of its seemingly simple contrast of good versus bad, is an extremely intersectional and complex topic in which the pros and cons of each path must still be considered. In these subjects and more, I feel that being open to risks and mistakes will ultimately do more good than rigidly avoiding anything which could cause offence.
If I could redo my word of the year, I might pick absorption- I want to absorb a bit of everything I encounter, rocks, air, and wood, like a sponge. Hopefully, I will be able to squeeze something helpful back out. From news to culture to scientific publications, there is so much that I don’t know, and this year I want to do a better job of seeking out and absorbing this knowledge, especially when it is so easily available to me. Even if I don’t know the most effective way to achieve my goals, I think I will get farther by latching on to and running with whatever resources, opportunities, and direction I do have than by only wondering how to get there while being too concerned about making a wrong choice to commit to a choice at all. I think this can manifest in being open-minded and willing to dedicate energy and time to activities, even if I can’t see how they will immediately help me. I believe strongly in the urgency of climate change, and even though it makes me uncomfortable to take a stand, I want to be part of the solution and try to make a dent on the biggest crisis of our generation. For everything I have done and hope to do, I know that when I live the future, I will ask myself, “Why didn’t I do more?” and I don’t know if I could ever do enough to reduce the guilt I will feel when future generations endure unnecessary suffering and wonder how we could have been so selfish and short-sighted.